Man of Steel

Uplistsikhe is just outside Gori, best known as the birthplace of Joseph Stalin. Embarrassing confession: when I was about 11 or 12 I wrote a righteous takedown of how friendly moustachioed ‘Uncle Joe’ was actually, wait for it, a bad guy, and somehow thought that my insights gleaned from history books for kids available in our small local library would like blow my teacher’s mind or something. Ah ah ah, the impetuosity of youth. 

My fascination with Russian history has persisted, and even though the Stalin museum in Gori is, by all accounts, less woke than I was as a 12 year old, I still had it on the bucket list of must-sees while I was in Georgia. I say ‘by all accounts’ because there’s very little information available in English in there, so we were assessing on the general vibe. Which was pretty much ‘all hail the mighty conqueror Stalin’. 

Quite a lot of the museum just consisted of reproductions of old photos on the walls with short captions, and most of the rest was artefacts from the cult of personality. I have a bit of a thing for Soviet kitsch as well, so I was mildly interested in dozens of Azeri Stalin rugs, although I have seen cooler Soviet stuff elsewhere. (Feel always and enormously free, anyone, to surprise me with a Belka and Strelka rocket jug.) The collection was rounded out by some genuine Stalin paraphernalia and a creepy memorial room with pictures of his coffin and what I assume is his death mask. (I recently mentioned visiting the Lenin memorial in Moscow: Stalin used to be in there too, until during the period of de-Stalinization Lenin’s widow had a convenient dream where Lenin visited her and told her he would be more comfortable in the afterlife sans flatmate.)

Outside the museum was Stalin’s actual birthplace, a tiny tiny hut encased within a larger memorial (that you weren’t allowed to go in) and Stalin’s personal railway carriage, which you can go in and soak up the Staliny atmosphere. It’s pretty nice, although not super lux, and was used by Stalin to go to the Yalta Conference, amongst other destinations. 

On Gori in general, my impression from the internet was that it was quite sad and rundown, not enjoying a lot of tourist money as its proximity to Tbilisi makes it a convenient day trip destination. It was actually nicer than I expected. There is a big fortress up on the hill, which we didn’t have time to get to, and we had a really delicious meaty dinner (along with the bread and dumplings, you can enjoy copious amounts of barbecue shish kebab type things in Georgia if you so desire). We ran into some rough potholey roads on the way out the next morning, but overall Gori is really not a bad place to spend the night instead of rushing back and forth from Tbilisi.

A nice park at the foot of the fortress, not far from the Stalin museum. Not sure exactly who these giant statues were of, but I’m guessing ye knights of old. 

Stalin’s wee little house

The back wall of Stalin’s house inside its memorial canopy

Just walking into the main museum gives you a good idea of the tone

Stalin’s death mask

Gotcha nose Winston! There’s that playful rogue we all know and love.

The design strongly reminded me of the Moscow metro system. I don’t know if this was a deliberate architectural nod to one of Stalin’s lasting achievements, or just the style of the time (the museum was begun in the early 1950s, not long before Stalin’s death)

Stalin’s first office in the Kremlin. I will admit there’s still a bit of a frisson for me to think “there’s the actual desk Stalin sat at”, even though I realise for many people it would be tantamount to displaying Hitler’s office furniture in a museum that doesn’t breathe a word about the Holocaust. 

Stalin’s train

It was surprisingly quite refined and elegant, not too showy



I feel it’s an interesting place to see in its own right, to see how history is still contextualised in a country that is, really, still suffering from the legacy of Russian imperialism and the Soviet Union. There’s still a sense of pride there that a boy from small-town Georgia went on to have such a profound influence on world history. There didn’t seem to be a single trace inside the museum of anything even mildly critical of Stalin - Terror, violence, purges, show trials, the gulag, the Holodomir etc., all swept under the carpet. It’s interesting in its own way that such a place still exists. I wonder if it’s kept on as a sort of curiosity for awful ironic hipster tourists like me or if there’s actually still widespread support for the guy in Georgia. (Actually, no need to wonder: on a confusing 1 - 12 scale, this research based on 2012 data shows pretty strong appreciation for Stalin particularly around his home region.)

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I guess even if he’s a bad guy, he’s their bad guy.

Midnight plane to Georgia

By the time we arrived at our hotel in Tbilisi, it was around 3 in the morning, Georgia time. Only 1 am Brussels time, but still, it had been a long day of travelling. A 3-hour flight to Kyiv, a couple of hours to change planes and then another 3 hours to Tbilisi. Funnily enough though, we were quite energised, so when the hotel guy suggested we go up straight away to check out the rooftop terrace, we took up the invitation for our first good look at the capital.

The Narikala Fortress overlooks the city

The new Bridge of Peace. I can see why it’s not a favourite with everyone, but I think saying it resembles a maxi pad, as some people apparently do, goes a bit far.

We didn’t want to waste too much of the next day in bed, so after a shortish sleep we were up in time for a 10 am breakfast at the hotel, which was a huge and delightful array of eggs, bread, cheese, fruit and something that looked like pilaf. We ate so well, we didn’t need any lunch! As usual when I visit a city, Day 1 was more or less reserved for walking around - we clocked up almost 12 kilometres. This was our main sightseeing day in Tbilisi though, so we fit in quite a lot of the main sights as well.

First up, we visited the Sioni Cathedral, a more-or-less 13th century building with pretty, mostly 19th century frescoes.

It’s definitely wedding season in Georgia - we’ve been unwitting guests at like 3 of them already.




We stopped at the Anchikhati Basilica (no photos allowed) before heading to the national museum. We only saw the ground floor, which houses golden treasures from Georgia’s early history and pre-history. The legend of the Golden Fleece was actually supposed to have taken place in Georgia, which has long had a reputation for its gold deposits. The museum offered several different explanations for the legend, one of which is a possible technique for dredging small particles of gold from the rivers by dipping a sheepskin in the water. Whatever the truth of it, there were some gorgeous objects on display, many of which wouldn’t look out of place if worn these days.

Stele of Daniel in the lion’s den. Georgia is one of the oldest countries to have Christianity as its state religion (after Armenia, I think).



A carving of an early Georgian king presenting the church he had built. Jules made me laugh way too hard by calling him monkey man.

I loved the way the fine arts museum, next door to the national museum, almost seemed see-through with its reflections of the sky.

A patriotic Georgian street

From the museum, we walked back downhill a bit to the river, where you can catch a funicular up to the fortress on the hill. It’s a pretty fun short ride which costs less than a euro.

The cable car plying its trade up the hill above Old Tbilisi

View from the top. Our new camera is a wee bit over-enthusiastic with the blurred background effect

The hill also hosts a statue of Mother Georgia. No disrespect, but the one in Kyiv is still #1. (I climbed 91 metres up inside it - this one is a mere 20.)

Selfie on the fortress walls




We were pretty exhausted by the time we got back to the hotel, so we chilled a bit on the roof terrace, watched the F1, and then headed out in the evening for some delicious khinkali dumplings. There is a special khinkali etiquette - you grab it by the ‘handle’ up top, bite into it a little to suck out the juices, and then eat most of the rest. Apparently, Georgians will laugh at you if you manage to spill any of the juices (luckily there were none scrutinising me, although Jules did a decent job) and eating the ‘handle’ is seen as a mortifying display of extreme financial distress. We had meat, potato and cheese flavoured varieties, they were delicious!

Archbishop's Palace, Ravenna

Our last stop on the mosaic trail was at the Archbishop's Palace, now a museum, which contains a tiny oratory dedicated to St Andrew from around 495 AD. Photos were not allowed in here, so I took a couple anyway (sorry).

A militant Christ trampling the beasts

The rest of the museum contains a bit of a hodgepodge of various paintings, mosaic fragments, ivories, statues etc. To be honest, I didn't find it all that memorable, but I enjoyed looking back through my photos and remembering what there was to see there. 

One highlight is the reconstructed chapel frescoes by da Rimini, from the church of Santa Chiara (early 14th century)

The lighting and damage made them hard to photograph, but they had a delicate beauty

As usual, I also enjoyed taking photos of various quirky objects:

Sexy boar

Sexy mermaid (hello Starbucks)

'Tis but a scratch

Pharmacy reconstruction

Wolf infestation

I didn't take any pictures of one of the glories of the museum, the ivory throne of Archbishop Maximianus (who showed up in the San Vitale mosaics), and the internet doesn't seem to have many pictures of it either, but it's pretty special:

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