Monday, May 10, 2010

Bad at bise

I'm usually one of the first into work, I wander past this old dude who does some job that is unclear to me and rarely comes into our workspace, but is always there first in the mornings, then T usually rolls in next and says hello. Then, in various orders, come M-C and my immediate boss P, and S who looks after the technically bits of the website. M-C and P, and some other guy whose name I can't remember who presumably works on another floor but always comes in and says hi in the morning, all give me bisous every day. This is the French kiss kiss and I'm bad at it.

Firstly, I never know who to bise and who not to - apart social situations with people I've met before, I never go in first for the bise, although it's quite common to get bise from friends of friends or whatever who you've only just met. Secondly, the whole etiquette around it - I always stay sitting down for my morning work bise, because I feel like it would be a bit production if I got up, but I always feel like I'm doing it wrong even so. Thirdly, I'm just pretty bad at face position - lead with your right cheek, I've got that part down, but the timing and everything is tricky. Banged cheeks a bit too hard today with the boss, he apologised but it was quite probably my fault. Fourthly, there's the whole question of, do I even want to do the bise? If you ask me, every day is a bit much, but then on the other hand, it's quite nice because you definitely know you're on a sociable, informal standing at the least, and at best it can be a real seal of approval from Johnny Frenchy. I was quite touched in my last couple of days at school that several of my teachers expressly requested permission to do the bise. In fact, I sometimes feel weird now meeting up with English speakers socially and not exchanging bisous.

Another downside of the bise though, as I've mentioned before, is guys will frequently try to land one 'accidentally' on your mouth, sigh! Oh, and then there's the whole issue of how *many* bise - I always go 2, which seems to be safe most parts of the country, but there are some pockets where they do 3 or even 4, just to increase the awkwardness...

Anyway, today at work was meh... went well in the morning finishing working through a good list of podcasts I found from the London School of Economics, but then was just casting my net on the sea of Google in the afternoon and coming up empty for the most part. Posted about 10 articles, which is not a lot for a whole day's work, but I guess the other side of the coin is, how much new material can really go up on a site *every day*? I also translated a couple of banners into English, but yeah, that was it really.

Oh, my bed got delivered first thing this morning. They had told me 7-9, so I got up at 6.45, hopped in the shower, and was not at all dressed when the intercom buzzed, eep! So had to throw on jeans super-quick, I realised later my belt was misbuckled, and I was still brushing my hair when I opened the door to them (had expected them to take longer getting up the stairs with the stuff). Turns out 'Ikea delivery man' must be the easiest job ever, the bed frame and slats are in 3 different bundles, plus a bundle which will become a bedside table, and the mattress came ROLLED UP! I was so unawake that I actually asked where the mattress was, despite having directed them to put the rolled-up thing in my cupboard. My tired, caffeine-deprived brain was just expecting a real, flat mattress... So I'm not sure how that's going to be to sleep on. I tested it in the shop, and it was firm but didn't feel especially thin, definitely couldn't feel the slats through it, and it was thicker than the width of my hand. I hope it lies properly flat!

After the delivery, I had a panic attack because I thought one of the cats had got out with the delivery men. I looked all over the building, out on the street, and was really starting to hyperventilate over the thought of having to tell my flatmate (who's in Paris for the next couple of days), "oh hey Gigi, welcome home, I lost your cat..." Can you imagine? I don't know where she was hiding, I swear I looked everywhere but my Mum will tell you how much that's worth, but I was just so relieved to see her when I went back into the apartment! I suppose she probably got scared, as she does about everything, and hid until the big bad men had left...

Later, I successfully changed one duvet/cover set (have been sleeping with the other this week, never mind it can just be the spare) and picked up a kick-ass collapsible mesh laundry basket and a rubbish bin as well. This was like, what, my 5th trip to Ikea? I still need to figure out something for clothes storage as well, and will probably end up picking up some other things like a bedside lamp, maybe a mirror, nickety knacks. This is the problem, every individual thing is so cheap it's just tempting to go mad and buy heaps of crap. The only problem for shelves/dresser/whatever would be transporting it home somehow, cos I'm not paying for delivery again... Anyway, great big post about nothing, I bid you adieu, *bisous*

1 comment:

  1. Two alternatives -
    Introduce the "Storm of Bees" whenever anyone threatens to bise you.
    Or -
    Learn this phrase "bise mon cul" and trot it out st the apposite moment.


Feed the Comment Monster! Rawrrrr