Monday, October 18, 2010

Killer cat attack

So there's this giant tomcat - like, really, really big, that climbs up the neighbours' roof somehow and comes and sits on our kitchen windowsill. My flatmate has warned me before that he got in one time, looking for the sweet lady cats in our apartment, and he was just impossible to get out & scratched up her old flatmate. That's why we can't have the kitchen window open.

So, I think you can see where this is going. We keep a bucket on the kitchen windowsill, and every time you open and close that window, guaranteed the big cat will be there like 2 minutes later. So I stuck the bucket outside, and obviously failed to latch the window closed properly, because next thing I know I'm in my room and there's this almighty howling. Now, sometimes our two cats will have a little go at each other, but this was insane. I opened my bedroom door and there was fur flying everywhere and the giant cat was in the house.

I swear to god, I almost had a heart attack. I'll try to remember to post a photo of this cat the next time he's on the windowsill, because it is HUGE - the size of a small dog, by which I mean like a terrier, not a chihuahua, and it was making this weird noise that I've never heard out of a cat in my life. I was absolutely *terrified* and didn't know what to do.

The first thing I thought of was protection in case it attacked me, so I grabbed the duvet off my bed & held it as a shield. Next thing, I managed to get it out of the room where I knew one of the cats was (I didn't know where the other had gone at that stage) and close the door, & I grabbed the big laundry basket from under the bathroom sink. So now it was just me and him in a Mexican standoff. At one stage, he yowled and leapt at me, but I managed to fend him off with the duvet, and slowly back him down the hall, shut my bedroom door, and edge him into the kitchen. This whole time, he's making that unnatural noise, occasionally hissing, and looking me right in the eye.

I considered my options, all the while trying not to spook him into attacking me & fervently hoping that he'd just jump out of the window of his own accord. I considered throwing the laundry basket over him, but then I couldn't think what my next move would be & I was scared I wouldn't manage to trap him & would get hurt. So I went with holding the blanket in front of me and just trying to slowly back him up to the window. Thank god he finally decided to leap up to the sill & I slammed the window shut as fast as I can, hitting him & almost making him jump back in, but thankfully I managed to shut him out. I couldn't get the window shut properly at first though, and to my horror, he was trying to smack against the window and GET BACK IN, so I had to stand there holding the window shut and praying he would go away. He didn't, but eventually I somehow managed to shut it properly, to my enormous relief. This might not sound that scary, but honestly, I don't know if I've ever been that scared of anything! I felt like I had a demon cat out of a horror movie in the house with me, honest to god.

I knew Chaussettes was in the lounge, but I hadn't seen the scaredy cat Maya around anywhere, and to my horror, couldn't find her anywhere under the couches or in the cupboards. I had a sinking feeling that she had fled out of the window in desperation, & I thought that that might very well be the last we would ever see of Maya. After checking in the most implausible places - locked cupboards etc. - I pulled on my coat and shoes to look for her in the street, and finally thought of one more corner I could look in, where I was unspeakably relieved to find her hiding. I'm thinking she's probably going to stay there for the next few days, because we're talking about a cat who's scared of her own shadow here (plus I probably made it worse by knocking over a clothes horse looking for her, she probably thought the world was coming to an end).

Anyway, about half an hour later my adrenalin's still through the roof, but I'm sure it could have been way worse. Like locking myself out of the house, I'm thinking this is one lesson I had to learn the hard way, but won't repeat!


  1. Hilarious! I laughed out loud in about six places. Sorry, I know it must have been really scarey, but you're such a comic writer! And well done on the presence of mind - the duvet was a brilliant idea for protection - and it worked as an enforcer, too! M x

  2. Yikes! Glad you came out of it without a scratch! Think of the diseases a beast like that must have.

  3. Is au soleil levant talking about you or the cat?


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